


Pastimes

by ClownheadMcFucker



Category: Dune - All Media Types
Genre: Cum Swallowing, Dry Humping, Hair Pulling, M/M, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, but not really, uh threats of dick biting lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:35:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28522512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClownheadMcFucker/pseuds/ClownheadMcFucker
Summary: Piter did not enjoy he and the Baron’s occasional sexual encounter in the same way that he imagined most people enjoyed sex–but he did enjoy them for the fact that they often presented him with even more opportunity than usual to engage in one of his favorite pastimes: being–not completely but just close to–absolutely insufferable.Pure pwp dick sucking fic. Not crack, but still fairly silly.
Relationships: Vladimir Harkonnen/Piter de Vries
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Pastimes

**Author's Note:**

> The more I wrote of this fic, the sillier it started to get, like idk this is a pretty short fic, but it’s actually the longest dick sucking session in the history of Geidi Prime because these two just cannot stop taking breaks to insult each other lol. Been polluting my brain with too much darkfic lately, needed to cure myself by finishing one of my more stupid wips.   
> Anyway, they’re both having a good time in this.   
> Enjoy~ lol

Piter’s day had begun with his usual careful practice of worming his way onto the Baron’s bad side, edging the very delicate line between punishment which was pleasurable and that which was legitimate–the latter typically revolving around having his spice taken away from him. And since the beginning of the day, it had gone rather well. 

“Tell me what you’re thinking about right now, Piter,” the Baron cooed, “you seem rather distant suddenly. Plotting are we?” 

“Not at the moment, Baron,” Piter said, “it’s something that’s occurred to me about you, actually.” 

“Oh? Do tell.” 

“It’s occurred to me, I believe, that your largeness may very well be the _least_ grotesque thing about you.” 

The Baron’s jowls bounced as the room filled with his echoing laughter. “What foul things you say, my dear mentat, I do enjoy them even when I am their target.” 

The suspensor chair that the Baron lounged in had been positioned specifically so that anyone who entered his sitting-room would immediately be witness to Piter in his lowly cock-sucking position. Piter knew, of course, that this threat was entirely hollow. With the Baron’s hatred for being interrupted outweighing his love for humiliating Piter, no one would be entering the room as long as the pair occupied it for this purpose. 

Piter hummed in delight as the Baron ran his fingers through his long hair, raking his nails over Piter’s scalp. 

The Baron moaned lightly, enjoying the buzzing sensation of Piter’s humming around his cock, repeating Piter’s name aloud. 

“Piter~ Piter~ Piter ... Piter, you really have some of the greasiest hair I have ever had the displeasure of putting my hands in,” the Baron said, rubbing his fingers together with distaste. 

Piter looked up at him plainly, a line of spit still connecting them together. “Don’t make me bite you.” “Oh, don’t be so sensitive,” the Baron chuckled, placing his hand back on Piter’s head. 

Piter continued. Encouraged by the burning on his scalp from the Baron’s tight-fisted grip, Piter was beginning to get into a steady rhythm and beginning to almost enjoy himself. 

“Really though, Piter, do you not wash it?” 

_Almost._

Piter closed his jaw just enough to cause a panicked hand to yank his head backward. As the Baron’s cock slipped from Piter’s mouth, so did a laugh. 

“Don’t get funny!” The Baron roared, holding Piter’s head out at a safe distance, shaking it a bit for effect and tearing loose a few strands of hair. 

Piter quickly stifled his laughter–sticking his tongue out and holding his mouth open, he gave the Baron a wanting look to signal that he was ready to continue _without_ the use of his teeth. 

The Baron narrowed his eyes distrustfully at the wanton display which he knew to be fake. 

“Whore.” 

He shot Piter a final glance which told him to behave as he slackened his grip enough to allow him to lean forward once again. 

Piter was thankful for the plush floor of the Baron’s private sitting room as opposed to the knee-hurting tile of his office. The jaw pain, however, was unavoidable. With the Baron’s cock unfortunately matching the rest of his body in alarming girth. It was difficult to take all of, and difficult to avoid drooling around, something which he was doing in excess currently. 

“You’re getting sloppy, Piter,” the Baron said through heavy breaths. “Getting distracted?” He asked, kicking away the front of Piter’s tunic to reveal the erection straining in his trousers. 

“My, my, how very selfish of you,” he said, roughly grinding the toe of his boot into Piter’s crotch and earning a pained moan from him. 

“You may please yourself, but I want your focus on _me_ ,” the Baron said. He hissed with frustration as Piter removed his mouth once again. 

“You think my idea of _pleasing_ myself is really to hump your fat leg like some dog?” 

“Best make it your idea quickly before I change my mind about letting you get off at all,” he said, wrenching Piter’s back towards his lap. 

Piter hiked himself up to straddle the Baron’s thick leg, grinding against it with fervor, and using the slightly elevated position to push the Baron’s cock deeper into his throat. 

Bodily sounds aside, the room was at the quietest it had been since they entered it, both being too occupied with their mutually approaching climaxes to spew further insult. The Baron gripped Piter’s head with both hands, preventing him from pulling back as he came, intending for him to swallow. Piter groaned–both in protest and pleasure. He purposefully allowed most of the seed to run down his chin and onto the Baron’s robes as his hips shuddered against his employer’s leg. 

Piter’s head rested heavily in the Baron’s lap as they both caught their breath. 

When even after recovering post-orgasm did the Baron still tightly grip Piter’s hair, the mentat spoke up. “There is really only so much time I can spend with your disgusting cock in my face– if you’d release me,” Piter said. 

The Baron hummed, eyes still closed peacefully, “Ask me nicely.” 

“ _Unhand me._ ” 

The Baron laughed, tossing Piter by the hair across the carpeted floor, “so rude to me, even after I’m kind enough to let you cum, you truly just live to be punished, don’t you, Piter?” he said, remarking also at the mess that had been made of his robe. 

Piter grinned, wiping his mouth, “so long as you live to punish me, my Baron.”


End file.
